Tuesday, February 28, 2012

a busy life

This afternoon, my best friend and I were meeting with a representative from the American Cancer Society, as we are going to team up with them for our school's annual fun run.  Our staff has been through a lot in the past year, three of my colleagues have been diagnosed with cancer, and one had a scare that wound up testing negative.  Needless to say, the partnership between our school's event and this great cause is not only timely, but motivational as we brainstorm ideas. 

As we were chatting with the representative, we were cooridinating dates for things and making sure that nothing interfered with the other things we have going on...directing the school play, designing the yearbook, teaching, family life, etc, etc.  The girl was amazed at the projects that my friend and I take on.  She said that there is a saying, 'if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it'.  I'd never heard that before and I immediately thought, 'well, if that doesn't ring true for me!' 

I thought of all the things that I voluntarily take on (because I enjoy them), the requirements placed upon me, the expectations placed upon me, and the things that people assume that I'll do because I'm a 'nice person'.  My head was spinning.  Then, my phone dinged its text message sound, and that piece of me that comprises so much of what I value about myself--mommyhood came blaring into the foreground.  The demands of being a mommy are a compilation of what I voluntarily take on (choosing to become a mommy), requirements placed upon me (to be a 'good mom' who is morally and ethically making the best decisions for her children--also avoiding the authorities from questioning my capabilities as a parent), the expectations placed upon me (by our kids who have the expectations of their needs being met--which I happily do on a daily basis), and the things that are assumed that I'll do (bake for the PTA? sure!  fix your stuffed animal because you and your sister were wrestling and it ripped?  sure!  watch your favorite movie for the ump-teenth time in a row because you just want to 'cuggle' even though the house is a wreck and the laundry needs swapped?  sure!--you get the idea).

Turns out that Raegan needed to take a trip to the pediatricians to rule out a possible bout with a contagious virus that would have left several hiccups in the 'normal' flow of the upcoming days.  Thankfully, she is just battling the combination of a nasty cold, teething, and Colorado's dry air which is a killer on sensitive little munchkin skin in the winter (actually, it's pretty rough on all of us!).  My already 'busy' schedule became even moreso as I dashed back and forth across my local area, picking up children and making it to our appointment in a timely fashion so as to avoid keeping the doctor waiting all the while avoiding a speeding ticket.  By the grace of God, we were only mildly late (but arrived safely and sans a police encounter), and Raegan is (relatively) healthy. 

As we were driving home, I opted to hit up a drive-thru for dinner (which I know is so against what I typically believe...).  As I pulled into the parking lot, Brynn and I had this convseration:

Brynn: Where are we going, mommy?
Me: We are going through the drive-thru
Brynn: Why can't we go inside?
Me: Because my body hurts and I have a headache.
Brynn: Why do you have a head-ick?
Me: From life, Brynn.  I have a headache from life.
Brynn: You don't have a life, mommy!

I know that she didn't realize what her last statement could have meant, but it's still funny to think of all that I do during the day, (and especially on days like today when I wear so many hats) and to 'just for a second' imagine what it would have been like had she realized what she meant.  From one lens, it might seem like I don't have a 'life', but rather float, jellyfish-like from activity to activity and event to event, often times multi-tasking along the way.  From another lens however, my life is rich.  My life if full.  My life has intent, meaning, and purpose because everything that I do fulfills me and refreshes my sense of worth.  It is all of these things because I chose for them to do so.  I don't view my calendar and list of things to do as 'busy' items, but items that make me 'me', and items that are what makes my 'life' as such.  A headache is a small price to pay to have the blessed life that I do...however, it sometimes can be those headaches that give me reason to pause my life, my busy schedule...and focus on absolutely nothing except for me, so that tomorrow, I can do it all again. 

nosy girl...

proud girl...

busy girl...

successful girl...

caught, girl!

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