Monday, January 3, 2011

a few more resolutions...

Back to life, back to reality...

The new year has 'officially begun', as I headed back to work after a delightfully enjoyable break.  Yesterday was pretty much the epitome of the purpose of holiday break in my eyes.  I relaxed.  I read.  I didn't change out of my pajamas until around 7:15--p.m.!! (and at that point of the day, what else is there to do but shower, and then change into but clean pajamas!).  We all lounged around and aside from the couple of loads of laundry I accomplished, we didn't do much but enjoy each other.  It was beautiful.  So beautiful in fact, that Randy and I fed the kids, put them to bed, and then enjoyed a 'random dinner' of Casear salad and assorted antipasti delights...and even some wine (don't judge--I had some with each of my kids and they're fine).  A perfect way to end break...

Then reality hit and we were back into the swing of accomplishing all of our morning routine in a timely fashion so that we're out the door at 6:30 a.m.  Thankfully I had a bit of lee-way today, as my students weren't back; it was a teacher work day.  So I didn't have to be at the mercy of 'the bell' at 7:35, but I did have quite a bit to accomplish on this work day, and hell, New Year's was just the other day, so it would be kind of bad to slack off so soon after a time of resolutions.  Thankfully the kids and I fell back into routine seamlessly (Randy had to be on a rig this morning, so I was a momma flyin' solo), and we were on time for everything--however I did 'cheat' a little and stop at Starbucks for a celebratory Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate to kick off the first day back in a delicious fashion (mission: accomplished--thank you $4.00 cup of chocolatey goodness!).

As I was driving Gavin to preschool this morning, we inevitably came to a red light (one of many, I might add).  Gavin was anxious to get to school I guess, as he hadn't seen his friends in over two weeks.  He proceeded to say 'Come on, ya stupid light!  Turn green already...would ya?'.  I smiled at his enthusiasm, cringed at his (proper) use of the word 'stupid', and silently agreed with him, as this light was taking an extraordinarily long time to change.  At first, I thought...innocent interaction, right?  But then, I thought about it.  Ideally, I'd like my kids to wait until they're at least remotely close to driving age to acquire road rage of any sort.  (In actuality, it'd be great if they didn't have any road rage, however they have a mommy who's an east coast driver at heart--so I'm no dummy.  They don't stand a chance!)

So there I was...thinking.  I know my kids (like all kids) are sponges that absorb lots and lots...and most often, it's primarily the 'crap' you don't want them to.  This 'crap' was making me look like a 'bad mommy' who lets my son talk like that to other people (or things in this case!).  And I realized something.  I realized that I never had 'technically' made some new year's resolutions.  Granted, the very thing you're reading now was one of my resolutions, but I want to set other resolutions.  As I'm aging, or rather 'maturing', I'm realizing the most successful way to be successful at resolutions is to start small and be realistic.

I just finished reading my first book on my kindle (woo hoo!), and one of the things I *adore* is the ability to 'highlight without highlighting'.  I can underline quotes or passages that I find particularly interesting, enlightening, or just funny.  Then, I can go back and references these highlights.  The best part is, I'm not going to make the book 'messy' with a fluorescent coloring wand.  I was always terrible at that in college...deciding which to highlight, making sure it was done neatly with straight lines, and keeping the color-coding system consistent throughout the text (read: anal retentive). 

I finished reading Elizabeth Gilbert's (Eat, Pray, Love) book entitled Committed, which was focused around marriage (Randy laughed at the title's play on words).  Within the text, I made quite a few highlights, because there were some great lines that I'll want to refer to again.  And, as it just so happens, that's what I found myself doing as I thought more and more about my resolutions. 

Making resolutions can be a really hard thing because, to quote Elizabeth Gilbert, "in a world of such abundant possibility, many of us simply go limp from indecision".  There are so many things that we want to change and re-evaluate and 'make better', that we might just say "why bother?".  In addition to that, Elizabeth Gilbert also had the line "plant an expectation; reap a disappointment".  Again..."why bother?" right?  You will end up finding something more important than going to the gym, or will go on a shopping spree despite your desire to save, or will inevitably find yourself intermixed with the piles of stuff you 'will organize as soon as you find the right system for it'. 

Well not this year!! 

1. Based on Gavin's interaction with the red light this morning, I realized I need to become a calmer driver--best to be there late than to never arrive at all.  Ok, so I drive with a smile and use some deep breathing techniques to calm down when a 'juice bag' cuts me off (yes, my kids think that I'm calling people 'juice bag' if they cut me off, so I ran with it).  Sounds reasonable, and dual purpose come April when I can put those deep breathing exercises into practice in Labor and Delivery.

2. Based on my OB's observation that I need to increase my amniotic fluid for the 'giraffe', I realized I need to drink more water (yes, I get that the water doesn't directly become amniotic fluid, but water is key in keeping those levels up).  Plus, water is just one of those 'necessities' in life...pregnant or not.  So, does it not make sense to have something as simple as 'drink water'?!  Carry my reusable plastic tumbler, filled with water...simple enough.  (Remembering to drink out of it...that's what I'll work on!)

and my final resolution (at present time)...

3. Based on the wonderful 'surprise' of winning the weekend getaway to San Diego with my husband in November, I realized we need to take more opportunities like that to reconnect.  Ok, so we probably can't do San Diego (or really any other city) on a whim like that, but you get the idea.  We need to relish in the quiet moments we have together, since they are few and far between (becoming even 'fewer and far-er' this April!).  Which brings me to yet another borrowed thought from Elizabeth Gilbert: "the single most exhilarating senstions I have experienced in my life happened when I was consumed by romantic obsession.  That kind of love makes you feel superheroic, mythical, beyond human, immortal.  You radiate life; you need no sleep (ha!); your beloved fills your lungs like oxygen".  Ok...that might sound a bit 'over the top' and 'mushy', but the quote still stuck with me, and rereading it brought me back to the first parts of our relationship, the parts when it was just us.  'You and Me', our wedding song, rings true in our life especially since our life has brought us to Colorado.  It's remembering to remember the basics, the beginnings, the roots of our marriage--and celebrating them.  Earlier in her book, Gilbert said "real, sane, mature love--the kind that pays the mortgage year after year and picks up the kids after school--is not based on infatuation, but on affection and respect".  True.  But how much fun is it to take the opportunity every now and then to throw caution to the wind, let go of responsibilities, and enjoy the memories of what made 'you and me' an 'us'?  So that's it...we need to be sillier.  We need to enjoy, and truly enjoy each other's time.  Not just sitting on the couch watching TV...but talk/discuss/converse with each other, experience something new, enlighten each other.  Gilbert says that "marriage is those two thousand indistinguishable conversations, chatted over two thousand indistinguishable breakfasts, where intimacy turns like a slow wheel.  How do you measure the worth of becoming that familiar to somebody--so utterly well known and so thoroughly ever-present that you become an almost invisible necessity, like air?  I think our resolution (yes, I'm making this one for Randy, too), is to find the perfect mix of 'romantic obsession', 'affection and respect', and 'invisible necessity'.  This isn't to say that we are struggling in any sort of way...but it's always a good idea to keep up on the things that mean the most! (which is exactly why I'm going to close for tonight, and go spend some time with my sweetie--ignoring the laundry that I could be folding right now!!)

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