Tuesday, January 1, 2013

A Writing Life

First, let me start off by saying, Happy 2013!

Just so you know, I've been writing blog posts daily for the entire month of December...

in my head.

As I unpacked.
As I organized.
As I cleaned.
As I chased after kids.
As I unpacked.
As I re-organized the mess two of the kids made while I was chasing after the third.
As I cooked and baked.
As I decorated for Christmas, shopped for and wrapped gifts, and read T'was the Night Before Christmas.
As I unpacked. (we have a *lot* of stuff)

Just so you know...I wrote them.  I am always writing them, always deciding on topics, choosing a snazzy title, and carefully selecting my word choice.

But then life happens.  

I've been wanting to share the stories from our move, more of the experiences we had in our extended stay (which seems like such a long time ago, now!), and document the funny daily goings on in our household so that when our kids grow up, they will have these memories accessible (rather than having to rely on my memory; which, at the rate they're going, should be completely worthless by age 50).  

But then life happens.

Someday, maybe I'll share a few of the stories from this time in our lives, but for now, I offer you the 'Reader's Digest version' (a fun term borrowed from my sweet friend):

We moved into our home on December 4th.  We began unpacking.  And unpacking.
             (did I mention we have a lot of stuff?)
The kids found the gobs of empty boxes thrilling for far less time than my 'ideal mom mind' had envisioned, and were driving me crazy all too soon.  Operation: Unpack the Toys was quickly followed by Operation: Organize the Loft.  

Yet, in doing this, I neglected to realize they were happily content running ('sprinting' is the more appropriate term) throughout the first floor pretending they were in the Army/Olympics/jungle being chased by a dinosaur (depending on the day--or hour).  They were just so.excited. to have the space of a house, especially considering this home offers us more square footage than we had in Colorado.

Meanwhile, Randy worked and I continued to unpack and organize, all the while trying to keep a sense of 'normalcy' in their lives ("you mean you actually need me to stop getting your clothes organized so I can feed you lunch?  Didn't you eat a few hours ago?"  "What do you mean, you need attention?!  Mommy wants to get the kitchen organized so I can actually cook a meal!").  

Pepper in some holiday decorating and pile on the task of Christmas shopping and wrapping and baking, and, well...you get the idea.  

Life happened.  

And so, that leaves me at this post.

I'm grateful for and blessed by all of the wonderful opportunities that lay ahead for my family in the coming year.  As life is starting to level back out to the normal, every day activities of a three-kid, two-dog household, I've been mentally setting my intentions for this upcoming year.  One of which includes spending more time with this blog.  My role has shifted significantly over the last couple of months of 2012, and I am working through how I embrace and move forward with these changes.  Don't get me wrong, I am in absolutely no way ungrateful for the opportunity to be a SAHM (stay at home mommy), but I am at a juncture in my life where I am transitioning from a career mommy to career as a mommy.  I used to have to balance my work(school) life with my home life; finding a way to delicately blend the two, especially during the busy times (start of the year, conferences, report cards, end of the year--oh, who the hell am I kidding?  teachers are eternally experiencing 'busy times'!).  Now, I'm working on creating an existence where the kids (primarily the girls since Gavin's in school) are enriched by my presence at home, rather than just mindlessly watching a Disney movie each day, or staying 'busy' so they're not in mommy's way as she keeps house, cooks, etc.  It's definitely a whole new world, which I'm loving and learning each day.  

Going back to the blog.  I'm usually the butt of some joke when the conversation shifts to naming someone you know who likes to talk.  I get it.  I talk.  A lot.  I know most of what I have to say isn't too important to a lot of people, but to my kids, I'd like to think that what I say on here will someday be important to them, because it will be the only words they have left from their mom.  

I also know that what I say on here is important to me.  My intentions for writing for my kids have rekindled a love of writing in me that I've had since childhood.  Typing is faster (and looks neater) than pen-to-paper, although, I have to say I *love* the authenticity of someone's feeling being conveyed through their pencraft. The feel of paper, and the 'look' of a well-loved journal, filled to the brim with the scrawl of a person's heart and soul...it's a beautiful thing.  But, I digress...(shocking, I know).

Resolutions, intentions, goals...whatever you want to brand it as, I crave to write more this coming year.  It's not because I foolishly think that as a SAHM I'll have *more time* (ha!).  I need the cathartic experiences that come from a few stolen moments of 'me' time.  I need to 'put it all out there' so I can find what it is that I'm seeking from this transition.  And, let's face it, I need practice.  I know I'm wordy.  My sentences are run-ons, I adore commas (and asides), and English professors might cringe as some of my not-so-grammatical choices.  I don't want to lose 'me' in the process of writing...but maybe gain a little insight on how to become more *marketable* as a writer.

Because, who knows...someday, *that life* might just get a chance to happen.


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